fuck this. 

so tired

cranky

not wanting to do anything but be on my RP

also need to do a lot of other shit…

got around 4 hours to do it..

fuck. 

help? 

haha

I almost signed this like my RP…IM LOSINGMY MINNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD but that’s nothing new. 

and then don’t answer their fucking phones. 

I think

this 

is my number one pet peeve. 

FUCKING ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE 

well I think we all know what I will be doing with MY night! 

first thing to do, watch the unaired pilot properly! 

—maybe order some chinese food…

anyone want to volunteer to bring me booze? haha no? *sigh* never mind then! 

But I just can’t come to terms with Descartes Meditations. I’ve read other things by him that were just fine, but the meditations drive me up the fucking wall. I mean, I love myself a challenging argument, one that could go in circles all day even, but it’s just…I don’t know…I find it irritating and pretentious and purely contrived without actual justifications (though he claims there are). 

I just can’t WAIT until I’m done with this unit on him…I want to move onto Locke..I think I remember liking him more. Please let this class not be the death of my mind…well…what’s left of it at least. I swear I am going insane. What else is new though right? =p 

watching our posts and getting such enjoyment out of our puns and out of our sorrows and out of our ships. 

I mean, hell, If Im ever famous…I would devote a good 24 hours to searching my tag on Tumblr…we come up with some awesome shit here. 

about the downloads and all that jazz, but I doubt they can come after everyone..and let’s face it, everyone has downloaded something ‘illegally’ from online before. Its like mastrubating, people claim not to do it, they just can’t admit it about themselves. …okay maybe bad analogy. Anyways, they can’t come after everyone, and also that story about the guy in the UK being persecuted…technically I don’t think that can be very true…maybe it is, but I thought that our jurisdiction didn’t go to other countries…but then again, what do I know. 

In any case, this is what comes to mind when I see these post (I know I reblogged one a little bit ago, but I was thinking and this happened). 

 I am obviously in the mind set of my RP blog…but it made me laugh. the internet is kind of depressing now with all of these other things about a bunch of bills just popping up, so I thought I’d try to lighten the load a bit. 

*this may come off as mean/rude/black hearted/cruel and cold, and let me assure you, it probably is, but there is good reason for it, so I really am not interested in anyone telling me I should give him another chance or the benefit of the doubt. If an individual wishes to express their opinions on this, by all means, but you are warned* 

1. Slight physical abuse that has stuck with me from childhood. —hip pops out of joint as does knee from him slamming me on the ground when he wanted me to stop crying. Might as well add the trauma of him threatening to slap me with objects and nearly tipping large boxes of exercise equipment ontop of me. 

2. His temper. Walking on egg-shells was the way of life. I would cringe when a song would come on the radio that I knew he didn’t like. Or when he would yell my name from downstairs, panic struck me silent. 

3.His fattness. He was such a lazy lout, and he knew it, and he never tried to fix that. He just kept eating bad crap and he kept getting larger and larger. Almost like Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter. The personality was not much different. 

4. The childlike ways he would throw temper tantrums and hissy fits. 

5. When he got laid off and kept buying things online using credit cards he couldn’t afford. 

6. When he refused to show my mom the finances these past couple of years, and how he never thought she needed to see them because after all, he was the bread winner. 

7. The way he tried to turn me against my mom in a way after she had started planning on filing for divorce. Saying he still loved me, and he still loved her, and he couldn’t see why she was doing such a thing. 

8. Why I didn’t believe the aforementioned reason, When he took the money that was rightfully mine for my schooling. I had to budget like crazy last year and this one because of him. I had to decide when I would eat, and when I would be able to buy something else to eat besides bread and crackers. 

9. The way he tried to control everything, and how when he would fail he would place the blame on me or my mother. 

10. The way he is refusing to cooperate with my mother, even though she filed in the end of April, he is being a jack-ass. He was sent to prison for assault charges and he is now all alone. 

11. He has off-shore accounts and shared accounts and secret accounts, yet claims to have no money. Though he also claims to be living off of 1000 a month. which, if you knew the way he spent money, you would not believe this wad of shit either. 

12. The way he mourned his mothers passing, yet didn’t go to collect her ashes. And still hasn’t. 

13. The way he hasn’t paid me the 300 dollars he is supposed to to supplement the cost of living he had declined through his part of the student loan. 

14. The way I have to work day in and day out to try to get good grades while holding down a job and a life. 

15. The way I stress about my mom because of what he’s done to her, and how she’s not doing well finacially (basically has nothing), and he finds some kind of joy out of it. I’m stressed from the struggle, and stressed from being away from her. I haven’t seen her since July 4th, 2011. I have never gone that long without seeing her. 

16. The way he moves the fucking money that my mom is rightfully entitled to, and then having the bank threaten to take my student loan money because it is attached to her name as well. (though I am the primary account holder). 

I don’t need this stress right now. I did horribly (compared to my other semesters) last semester because of it, and now I feel like if this isn’t resolved I will do about the same. It is the first week of the semester. I still need to buy books, buy notebooks, buy printer ink, and buy groceries because I am basically out of food after this last can of soup I have. 

My birthday is coming up, and I don’t even care, I’m not in the celebrating mood at all. My boyfriend isn’t here, I’m not able to be there to help my mom and brother out, my other family probably doesn’t give a rats ass about me, and my two closest friends are back home or in another state for school. I have friends here too, but they are usually working or busy with other commitments, also it is fucking Iowa in the cold and the ice and the snow. 

I guess I’m a bit of a pessimist right now. Why is the court system so slow? Why has he been able to get away with all this shit so far? Anyone want to take a stab at this? 

blender-1

me - 0 

haha and floor gets some of the blender credit as well…

thankfully some of the smoothie actually filled the entire glass and had a bit left in the bottom of the blender woot! so maybe not a complete fail…

my hair is all feathery looking today! 

My boyfriend was in from school for the holidays, so naturally I spent as much time as possible with him. Now he’s gone and I have no idea what to do to entertain myself. I could do a number of things but they just don’t appeal to me right now…fuck. I feel lost now. I hate saying goodbyes….Im angsty as shit right now ha. 

I got my ass to a coffee shop, sat down for about six hours with one break, and I wrote 13 mother fucking pages for my shakespeare final! If I don’t get an A on that, I will be thoroughly disheartened. 

SHIT…I guess starting part of my pomegranate was a bad idea before having to go to class…

scared the bejezzus out of me! and walked home with the girl that was standing next to me when it happened! haha yay socialization from other peoples misfortunes! 

Also, there was an asian guy standing there grinning on the other end of the intersection, which was unusual and kind of creeped me out. 

I actually have to get some shit done, so I’mma leave you to your own devices now, and I’ll be back in a few hours I think….

wish me luck!